


Not my fault - Merlin

by DSabian



Series: It's Not My Fault [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Canon Compliant, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Humor, If You Squint - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:41:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22084333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DSabian/pseuds/DSabian
Summary: “It's not my fault.” Merlin's voice was possibly a little higher than normal, and he wasn't sure if maybe his smile wasn't a tad on the manic side. Arthur was certainly giving him an odd look. Though that could have something to do with the state of the room around them. And the state of Arthur himself.In which Merlin does the usual of making a mess, explaining it away and cleaning it up and Arthur does the usual of threatening to put him in the stocks but leaving somewhat bewildered instead.Not a reveal fic.
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: It's Not My Fault [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1589605
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	Not my fault - Merlin

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been reading a lot of fanfic and been finding that most of my favourite 'verses have elements or characters that are similar. So I decided to chuck a few of them in a similar situation by doing fics where the first line in every one was “It's not my fault,” and see how they reacted.
> 
> Merlin (BBC TV) – Somewhere in the early seasons where there's still a risk of Merlin going into the stocks, and not as much angst but the boys are comfortable with each other. You can get a hint of pre-slash if you squint or ignore it if that's not your thing.
> 
> Thanks to Black_Kat for the beta and general putting up with me, all remaining issues are my own (obv).

“It's not my fault.” Merlin's voice was possibly a little higher than normal, and he wasn't sure if maybe his smile wasn't a tad on the manic side. Arthur was certainly giving him an odd look. Though that could have something to do with the state of the room around them. And the state of Arthur himself.

“And really, I mean, you did just barge in.” Merlin knew he was digging his own grave. “I have said before, I work with delicate things.” He just needed to stop talking. “Very delicate, lots of concentration needed.” Oh god, but he needed to stop. Talking. “But you don't listen, so really-”

“Merlin, if you finish that sentence you won't just be cleaning out the stables, nor spending an evening in the stocks. If you finish that sentence, particularly while I'm still covered in leeches, you will be cleaning the stables _while_ in the stocks.” Arthur's tone was surprisingly even all things considered. Merlin was impressed. He also decided not to point out the physical limitations of the threat he'd just been issued. Not that there were any, really, given his magic, but Arthur didn't know that so, realistically-

“Merlin!”

Merlin literally jumped out of his thoughts. “Yes sire, sorry sire, no sentences, got it.”

“Merlin...” Arthur's voice had turned into a growl and Merlin realised he had mere minutes left before physically impossible punishments were the least of his problems. His eyes widened and he started moving before he was really sure what he was moving to.

“Yea, ah, right, I'll..” His eyes finally settled on a glass container that would do the trick for now and then he hurriedly flicked through the mess to find the tongs he needed. Then he scrambled back to Arthur, nearly stabbing the other man in the side with the tongs in his haste. He started picking leeches off of Arthur's clothes determinedly not looking his Prince in the eyes as he did. He could feel the glower following his every move; he didn't need to see it as well.

Focusing on his task, Merlin wove around Arthur, chasing down every last little black creature. After clearing the easy ones from cloth, Merlin then bit down on the corner of his lip in concentration as he moved onto the ones that had latched onto skin. A little hiss escaped Arthur as his skin stretched then snapped back as each leech was plucked away, but Merlin was working to the theory that the quicker he got this done the better, if only so they could get onto his inevitable demise sooner rather than later.

Merlin manhandled Arthur this way and that, flicking leeches out of his hair, shifting his sleeves up his arms and even pulling the collar of his shirt away from his body so that he could check there weren't any strays. It was as he was peering down Arthur's already rather open shirt front, Arthur's breath ruffling the hair on the top of his head, that he realised he may have gotten a little carried away. He let go of the Prince's shirt as though it was molten then slowly stepped back out of Arthur's space. He didn't raise his eyes until he was a good couple of paces away.

Arthur was looking at him with that expression he had where he couldn't decide if Merlin needed to be berated, beheaded or checked for some hitherto undiagnosed mental disorder. And a touch of something else that Merlin couldn't decipher before it was covered up by a shake of a golden head and the crossing of Arthur's arms.

And now the great git was giving Merlin that slightly raised eyebrow with the air of huffiness that meant he was waiting for Merlin to explain, but not for very long, and he wasn't going to be impressed with said explanation anyway. Something Merlin had always found a bit unfair as some of his explanations were extremely inventive and always had to be come up with in a matter of seconds. It was very much an under-appreciated skill.

It didn't look as though Arthur was actively looking to kill him anymore though, so...

The eyebrow got a little higher and Merlin took a quick look around the room for inspiration on where to start. The broken leech tank half on the counter top, half on the floor was probably the most obvious, considering where most of its occupants had ended up. But then there was the array of potion ingredients spread around the room as though someone had flung them out from the highest shelves. And the rather ominous blackening of the back wall probably hadn't escaped Arthur's notice either. Merlin wondered if Arthur had a view of the green puddle just beyond the table from where he was standing. Maybe best to try and work it into the explanation, just in case. And really, there was only one explanation that would cover all that.

Merlin put his best 'I'm ridiculously clumsy and slightly gormless but it still wasn't my fault' smile in place and said, “I slipped.”

There was a beat in which Arthur obviously expected more, then looked surprised, confused, annoyed and finally resigned. Merlin was a little worried. At this rate Arthur would go through his daily quota of emotions in record time.

Running a hand over his face and then up through his hair before recrossing his arms, Arthur took one more look around the room. “You slipped.” It wasn't a question. Merlin answered it anyway.

“Yes.”

“But it's not your fault.”

“No, it was not.”

“And you did all this,” Arthur gestured at everything from the roof down, “by... slipping.”

“Yes.” Merlin said with a head nod and a smile to show he was pleased Arthur understood.

Arthur parried with a look that said the only thing he understood was that Merlin was an idiot.

Merlin shrugged slightly as if to say that was Arthur's loss and turned to start hunting down any leeches that hadn't managed the dubious honour of landing on royalty and so were still squirming on the floor. He tried very hard to give an air of having finished with the conversation. Maybe Arthur would just shake his head and walk away. And then give Merlin a raise, declare magic legal and get someone else to muck out the stables ever after. All were equally as likely.

Merlin managed to fill the glass container and start on the potion ingredients before Arthur became well and truly fed up with being ignored.

“Merlin.”

“Mmm?” Merlin hummed over his shoulder as he continued on with his clean up.

“ _Mer_ lin.”

“Yes Arthur?”

“Merlin!”

Damnit. Merlin straightened and looked at Arthur enquiringly. Arthur huffed out an eyeroll.

“Explain. Explain how you slipped, how all of this is the result, and how none of it could possibly be your fault.” The tone was controlled and clipped, but Merlin had the distinct impression that there was a hint of amusement buried right down at the bottom of it. It could be wishful thinking. 

It was probably wishful thinking.

Making a show of putting the dried herbs he'd been gathering back on the table before answering, Merlin took a breath, let it out and started spinning the tale he'd already mentally labelled 'The Rain of Leeches That Was Completely Not My Fault.'

“Gaius has been on at me to clean the leech tank for ages. He also wanted me to mix up a fresh batch of that tonic for Lord Martin. You know, the one for his gout. Of course, if you ask me, it would probably work better if-” Arthur shifted slightly, his arms crossing more firmly over his chest and Merlin took it for the anti-babble warning that it was, “-ah, but, well, so, with Gaius being in the lower town today and you being busy with whatever,” Arthur's brow pinched, possibly at Merlin's added arm wave to indicate the Prince's activities were nebulous, but he let it pass, “I thought now was as good a time as any. So I got all of the tonic going up to the point where you just have to sit back and let things simmer, then I started on the tank.”

Merlin paused, eyebrows slightly up, hoping Arthur might draw his own conclusions from there and let it go. It was a stupid hope, and Merlin should know better by now. Arthur simply waited out the pause and Merlin's natural aversion to silence had him going again soon after.

“Well the tank is heavy, so I didn't want to have to lift it down, so I was standing on the bench giving it a good wipe down on the inside. I had the water up there with me as well, and maybe some of it might just have splashed onto the bench I was standing on,” and Merlin saw the moment Arthur took this as an admission of guilt, his attitude going from mildly bemused to righteous with barely a muscle twitch. Merlin glowered and ploughed on. “Something that absolutely wouldn't have been a problem if some oversized prat hadn't come storming in, giving me a fright and causing me to step in the water, at which point I slipped.”

Arthur's eyes narrowed in a way that usually signaled grievous bodily harm would soon be happening, but there still seemed to be that undertone of amusement. He gave no other indication as to how he was receiving Merlin's tale.

“So,” Arthur said, obviously trying to prompt Merlin into finishing said tale. Merlin decided to ignore the fact it was obvious and make Arthur ask for it. He went back to fishing ingredients from the debris.

“Hmm?”

Arthur huffed, rolled his eyes and apparently sent several prayers to the heavens. “So, _Mer_ lin, how did you slipping equate to the upheaval of an entire room?”

Merlin stopped long enough to throw Arthur a glare. It wasn't the entire room. Nothing at all had happened to Gaius' books after all.

“Well, I slipped, grabbed the tank, kicked the burner, knocked the water into the air, dropped the tank and caused all the ingredients for the tonic to go flying.” He pointed to the various disasters in the room as he mentioned them. “Luckily,” Arthur snorted, “I managed to land on my feet on the floor just as you finished barging into the room. And you were there for the rest.” The rest being the rather spectacular rain of leeches. 

Merlin would be eternally grateful for the fact he'd been too stunned to really appreciate that when it had happened. Otherwise the sight of Arthur standing shocked as the disgusting bloodsuckers had poured down onto him would have made him laugh and instant death would no doubt have ensued.

“So that black patch on the wall...”

“Scorch mark from the burner, yes.”

“And the green puddle?”

“Ex leech tank cleaning water.”

“And the burner didn't set fire to everything because...?”

Merlin paused and willed his eyebrows not to go up. Huh. Hadn't thought of that one. So he did what he always did when stumped. He put on his brightest smile and turned it on Arthur. “Lucky, like I said. Wasn't watching, too busy falling over, but,” he shrugged, “must've put itself out as it landed.”

The smile was working, Merlin could see it wearing the other man down, but Arthur was still trying to apply logic to the situation. Really, having spent as much time in Merlin's company as he had, he should know better.

“A fire that puts itself out as it lands...” he said slowly.

“Well it did land on stone. Which isn't flammable. Lucky it didn't land on the books. You would've had to help me put it out while still covered in leeches and it would've been a real disaster.”

“As opposed to your usual brand of disaster.” Arthur quipped, automatically falling into their regular banter.

Merlin put the smile up another notch. “Yes, exactly.”

Arthur huffed again, but Merlin thought it was looking promising. 

“Right. Well then.” Arthur relaxed his stance, uncrossing his arms as he did so. He was still looking parts annoyed, bemused and confused, but Merlin wasn't in the stocks nor lined up for a trip to the pyre, so it was possibly the best result he could have asked for. Now he just needed his golden pratness to go away so he could get the room back to rights before Gaius saw it. Merlin wasn't sure he could deal with 'the eyebrow of doom' twice in one day – he'd already been on the receiving end when he'd tried to skip out on cleaning the leech tank.

“Well then,” Arthur said again. Merlin just kept the smile going. Eventually Arthur huffed again then shook his head ruefully. “Alright. I'll leave you to sort this then. Don't be late for the training session later. Oh and Merlin?”

“Yes Arthur?”

“You're an idiot Merlin.”

Merlin took a beat to decide if he was going to argue the point or not. But Arthur was still oblivious, Merlin wasn't going to be burned alive, and he'd gotten the joy of watching Arthur be rained on by leeches. He could afford to be magnanimous. “Yes Arthur.”

And with that Arthur was out the door and Merlin was left to set the room to rights in peace.

Hours later as he was about to leave to attend Arthur in training the knights, Merlin nearly bumped into Gaius returning wearily to his chambers.

“Hello, how did you go?”

“Martha's twins have both got fevers, Lyndal's little boy broke his arm yesterday and the tavern owner nearly lost that toe I was worried about last week.”

“That good. Sorry I missed it.”

Gaius put an eyebrow up to half mast at Merlin's cheek, but ignored the comment otherwise. “And you?” He asked instead, already looking to the leech tank and the counter below it to check on the tasks he'd told Merlin to complete that morning.

“Lovely thank you. Had an almost entirely prat free morning and the tonic for Sir Gout-a-lot is ready to be delivered with the usual afternoon rounds.”

Gaius huffed at several of the things Merlin had said but again didn't comment. Instead he shuffled over to the table where Merlin had left food out for his return and sighed in relief as he sank onto the bench. “So no problems then?” He asked without turning around.

“No,” said Merlin, lying through his teeth and really hoping this might be the one time his mentor didn't pick up on it. “And I'd better get going or... Arthur...” Merlin was pointing rather pointlessly at the door as he moved towards it, seeing as Gaius wasn't even looking at him.

Gaius harrumphed and Merlin took a few more steps, mind already moving to the tasks he'd have to take care of on his way to the training grounds. Arthur's chain mail was still in his room so that would have to be Merlin's first stop, then the armoury and-

“So, nothing at all you need to tell me then?” Asked Gaius in an innocent tone that had Merlin instantly on edge. He flicked his eyes quickly around the room wondering what he'd missed that the older man had spotted. 

“Ah...” Merlin started, very close to panic as he debated the pros and cons of confessing versus continued denial.

“It's just that Arthur stopped me on my way here.”

Merlin's legs went all weak as he resigned himself to at least two lectures – the always enjoyable 'what have I told you about using magic,' and the fascinating 'there are no shortcuts to being a good healer' – as well as an entire dinner in the company of 'the eyebrow of doom'.

“Did he?” Asked Merlin, voice flat.

“He apologised.”

Merlin's eyes went wide. “He what?”

Gaius finally turned to face him, taking in his charge's shock with ill concealed amusement.

“He said he hadn't meant to always be barging into my rooms and was very glad my books hadn't caught fire.” The eyebrow rose again to let Merlin know they were definitely going to have a talk about the fact that such a thing had even been a possibility before he continued. “He also said he would arrange a new leech tank.” The eyebrow rose a little more and Merlin felt himself turning red as they both looked to the perfectly clean and undamaged leech tank perched on the shelf.

Then Merlin realised what was happening. “That cabbagehead!” he said with feeling.

“Merlin!”

“Well, he is. He knew I'd have it all cleaned up before you got back.”

“All what? Exactly?”

Merlin brushed the question away with a hand motion as he started to pace. “He knew you wouldn't know without him telling you. But he didn't want to be a tattle tale. So he made himself look good by apologising. He knows I can't have a go at him for apologising. I knew it sounded odd as soon as you said he'd said that. As if he's ever apologised for anything in his cabbageheaded life.”

Gaius was frowning in a way that said he didn't agree with Merlin nor appreciate the disparagement of his Lord and Master's good nature. Which was exactly why Arthur's little plan was the cleverest most underhanded thing Merlin had ever known him to do. He was just a little proud of the other man. Merlin would have to dig deep to come up with something equally underhanded to get him back with. An idea came to mind and he stopped pacing immediately.

“Merlin,” Gaius said warningly, suspicious of the younger man's sudden change in attitude.

“Sorry Gaius, have to go, training practice, much to do.”

“Merlin.” The warning tone was even clearer this time. Merlin just smiled brightly at it as he watched it sail past.

“Best eat your food before it wanders off Gaius, I'll see you tonight okay?”

Gaius sighed and turned back to his food, resolving to go over the room with a fine tooth comb as soon as he'd eaten. He missed the interesting sight of several black things floating from the tank on the shelf to land in the handkerchief held by the golden-eyed boy still standing by the door.

When next he looked Merlin was gone and Gaius had determined that perhaps he just really did not need to know after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Any issues with the fic by all means let me know, but in your nicest possible way please and thank you ^_^


End file.
